De-escalation success often starts before a student ever escalates
If you’re an educator, these six strategies can increase the chances that your de-escalation efforts will be more effective.
Not every strategy will fit every student or scenario, so as we go, think about which ones could work in your situation.
Strategy #1 – Teach your students some basic self-calming methods
Sometimes the best de-escalation is self de-escalation.
If students have been taught how to self-calm:
- Educators can prompt them to use those self-calming skills when needed
- Or a student may use a pre-taught self-calming strategy on their own without any input from staff
One example is box breathing, which consists of breathing in to a four count, holding for a four count, breathing out for a four count, and then holding for a four count before starting again.
The key is teaching it ahead of time, when the student is calm. Trying to teach a self-calming method to a student who’s already escalated rarely works.
Strategy #2 – Ask students, who consistently get upset, how they’d prefer to be approached when they are escalated
Do they want space? Do they want someone to just listen? Is there a particular staff member they feel more comfortable talking to? Or are there things you should avoid saying to them that could make a situation worse?
Having this conversation before escalation occurs can help you avoid ineffective de-escalation efforts — and possibly show a student that you respect their input.
Strategy #3 – Form strong relationships with students
Forming strong relationships can mean different things to different people.
For me, a strong relationship would focus on building trust, creating rapport, and earning respect.
I’ve asked dozens of educators over the years whether they felt the strength of their relationships with students affects how well de-escalation works. Every single one of them said yes.
So, time spent forming strong relationships with students can be well worth the effort.
Strategy #4 – Create a space or area a student could go to if they become upset
The goal here is to provide students a calm and safe place to go so they never feel like they have to create one on their own.
The space could be a quiet corner of the classroom shielded from view of the other students, or a location outside the room.
If possible, you could let students have some input on what that space looks like. And once set up, you could then talk with students about how and when it could be used.
Strategy #5 – Learn individual student triggers so they can be avoided if possible
My guess is that if you work in education, you would probably prefer not triggering a student and causing escalation.
It stands to reason though that it would be more difficult to avoid triggering a student if you don’t know what their triggers are.
Unfortunately, some student triggers are learned the hard way.
Ideally, student triggers could be learned by talking to staff who have worked with that student before. This could be a current or past teacher, counselor, school administrator, or support staff. All can be valuable sources of information when it comes to learning individual student triggers.
Strategy #6 – Have a de-escalation plan in mind
Some people are naturally skilled at dealing with escalated students and knowing what to say and when.
For others, dealing with student escalation can be a frustrating or even scary situation. Having a plan for how you will respond to escalated situations can help with that.
Your plan could be as simple as:
- Anticipating how a student might behave while escalated (including what they will or have said)
- Thinking about and/or writing down how you might handle the escalated situation (including what you’ll say)
In the moment, you’re no longer trying to figure out what to do — you’re recalling something you’ve already worked out.
The more you revisit these responses before you need them, the more natural they can feel in the moment when it counts.
So those are the six strategies
- Teach self-calming methods
- Ask students how they’d prefer to be approached when upset
- Form strong relationships
- Create a calming space students can go to
- Learn individual student triggers
- Have a de-escalation plan
You don’t need to use all six.
Even one of these, put in place before a student escalates, could make a real difference in how de-escalation goes.